porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
