Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
