What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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