then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
