Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
