I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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