I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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