I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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