Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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