if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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