It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
