I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
