that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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