so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
