Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
