Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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