She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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