why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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