he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
