can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
