omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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