ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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