We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
