Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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