I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
