How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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