the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
