I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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