see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
tell me about the eggs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
