I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
PANTIES FOUND
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