I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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