I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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