those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
