so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
