I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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