My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
even my farts smell like vagina
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
