He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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