nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize