I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
