How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
