i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
