it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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