I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
