Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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