one two three fourrrrnication!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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