so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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