11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
