just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
