Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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