Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
